Will She Ever Smile Back at Me Again?

Ages have gone past

wondering and pondering all the time

and I am still left with a question,

“will she ever smile back at me again?”

I want to know the answer

but don’t know how.

Should I present myself

before her with a smiling or crying face?

Or just see her as someone meets a stranger?

I know she loves me

but still feigns a frown on her face.

My words… my thoughts… my love for her,

Can she just forget everything just like that?

No, she can’t… nobody can

I remember everything,

her attire, the way she smiled

The color of her sandals, the clutch in her hair

and the handbag she carried

The cologne she used still lingers in my nose.

She said she likes me, appreciates my love.

I know she hasn’t a fallible memory

Can she still forget everything

and not smile back at me again?

Oh, my fate! all the nights I cried for her

all the sweet flowers I offered her

will it bloom once in a blue moon???

I know she is no more mine — she never was,

but I still miss her talks

and the long walks we took together

I miss her smile once every while

and all her love and care she showed for me.

Was all she said just words to console me?

I know how much and how many times

I have annoyed her with stupid things

and words that could hurt a tender heart.

Will she stick around my faults only,

can she just ignore everything else?

I know we don’t belong to each other anymore,

but I still got that one undying desire

The will to be with her always, not physically though.

Those moments are a memoir for me now

my mind still echoes with her thoughts

But the question still haunts me

as I live and die,

“will she ever smile back at me again????


– Rakesh Shukla

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